The last banana
The other day I found myself asking my boyfriend of 7 years if it was “okay” I ate one of the bananas in his kitchen. He said, “Of course!”. Now I know that is a fairly normal and considerate question but here’s what was behind it – fear. I actually felt fear about eating it without asking and that is because about 11 years ago, I did not ask my then fiancé if it was “okay” to eat the last banana in the kitchen of the home we were to live in as a married couple and he lost it. Next thing I knew I was slammed up against a wall with him screaming in my face after shoving me across the room 10 or 15 feet.
That was my wake up call – my BIG, game-changing wake up call.
And even though that was a very long 11 years ago, I still feel it on some level.
Often, we just can’t see how much we have compromised or denied, until it is IN our faces.
Clearly, there were signs of trouble before that event – times when I chose to ignore how I felt or what I saw right in front of me, and this is exactly how it came to that in-my-face place.
In that moment against the wall, I realized just how much of myself I had forfeited, ignored and given up for “security”, the appearance of normalcy and the need to prove to myself that I was worthy. It was through a series of events where I flat out didn’t trust the wisdom I had within, that led me there. Not to mention, a lack of self love.
Today, I am incredibly grateful that happened. I needed that shock to show me exactly where I needed to heal to become the woman I was meant to become.
What is screaming in your face Love?
Or perhaps simply nagging at you?
When I was with one of the best companies in the world (Forbes Top 100), I was struck by something every Monday morning that would change everything for me.
As people shuffled into the office and settled in, we would begin visiting with each other to ask how our weekend was. One by one I would see faces LIGHT UP as they recalled time they spent outside, at events with their kids, doing physical activities, with friends or doing a hobby they LOVE.
Not only would their entire face SHINE but they would sit up straight and forward as they talked passionately about all the things they did that made them HAPPY.
Later that day (sometimes just moments later) I would see these same colleagues in a meeting and that spark would be completely GONE. The life had left their faces and their bodies were still and downtrodden.
Then I realized I was one of them too.
What was that SPARK I saw earlier when they spoke about all the things they LOVE? It was their spirit coming to LIFE – their hearts feeling full, their minds SPARKED with interest – their bodies at ease.
Once we see something, we cannot un-see it and that is what happened to me. It was like being up against that wall – in full color, right in front of me.
This experience was one of many that compelled me to figure out how to do life and work another way. I set on a course obsessed about finding my freedom so I could empower others to do the same.
I did just that – now living with SPARK every day, loving my work, trusting my intuition, surpassing my corporate salary and mentoring my clients on how to do the same.
Do you have that nagging feeling you are meant for something more?
Do you want SPARK in your life, every day?
Do you want to reIGNITE from within, reCLAIM your spirit and remember who YOU are so you can make money doing what you LOVE?
If you need help with a plan to move forward, I opened a few slots on my calendar to talk with you. Just click >>> HERE <<< to book your Free 30-Minute SoulFUEL™ Clarity & Confidence Breakthrough Planning Session*. It’s a great step toward finally, breaking free.
Let’s get you hearing yourself again, trusting yourself again and living your life sparked!
Love & Light,
SoulFUEL™ Business & Freedom Mentor
“Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life.” -Confucius
P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts below. Please share. Let me cheer you on.