Wendy Collier Worldwide, LLC

The bright side of jealousy

It was Christmas 2015. I was scrolling through the email inbox on my phone when I opened a message from someone I just started following whom I considered a peer. She was promoting a beautiful program similar (but different) to the work I do. Her email was perfectly written.


When I clicked through to the promotional page for her program I was blown away by what she was offering and how she was offering it. I loved everything about how she structured and presented the course.


I devoured every word not because I was interested in taking the program (I am in something that is meeting those needs) but because I was in full admiration of what she was doing and I was JEALOUS as heck.


I do not consider myself a jealous person nor has anyone ever described me as such but we all have our moments of envy, don’t we? This was mine. Man, was I green with envy.


Here is what I know about these things that I was able to immediately apply in this situation, thankfully.


You cannot be jealous of something you aren’t capable of yourself.


Allow me to explain.


When we observe someone, let’s say on social media, and feel jealous (distinct from simple admiration), we will often either question or criticize them to make them ‘less great’ in our own minds so we can feel better about ourselves or we will roll around in our jealousy and make it about us being ‘less than’ allowing self-doubt and self-criticism to creep in which inevitably causes us to shrink.


Either way, the ego is running the show holding us back from our full potential.


You see, you can use jealousy as FUEL to propel you forward unlike anything ever has (and not in a competitive way either).


With the woman I mentioned earlier, the truth is, deep down – I KNEW I could do what she did and I was mad at myself for not doing it yet. I was impressed by the dedication, discipline and creativity it took for her to launch her project. It took some self reflection to realize this.


I also recalled the last time I felt this level of intense jealousy was actually over 23 years ago when I had a roommate who was not only beautiful but a successful entrepreneur at a young age. I didn’t know it at the time but she was showing me something I wanted for myself and deep down, I knew I was capable of it.


When we are jealous of someone, they are showing us what we are capable of (and wanting) but aren’t stepping into. On some level, we know that. That is why we feel the jealousy.


Consider this – do you feel real jealousy toward Julia Roberts or Michelle Obama? Probably not but if you do it is likely because you are either an aspiring actress or interested in getting involved in politics.


We may admire and respect people like Julia and Michelle but we are FAR less likely to actually be jealous of them because they are further out from where we truly yearn to be in our own lives.


We are jealous of those who are showing us a part of ourselves we haven’t allowed to come to life yet and THAT powerful awareness can be used as FUEL to create lives we LOVE.


So when you look at those you are jealous of or stalk on social media ;), what are they showing you that you want to live into? Because Love, you HAVE it inside of you to be/do/have exactly the same, if you are feeling the jealousy.


We hold ourselves back and admire those who don’t because we want that freedom, and WE CAN have that freedom.


I invite you to take a moment and inventory those you feel some degree of jealousy toward. Then ask yourself, “Who are they being that I want to BE?”, “What are they doing that I want to DO?” “What do they have that I want to CREATE?”.


AND THEN, commit to being/doing/creating those things in your life. When you do, the accomplishments of those you admire will become inspiration for you rather than taking you down the rabbit hole of jealousy that keeps you from shining the Light within YOU.


Use their courage as fuel to propel you into the next level of your life. It is ALL there waiting for you – as available to you as it is available to them.


How does this topic strike you?! Comment below. I’d LOVE to know.

Love & Light,
SoulFUEL™ Business & Freedom Mentor


  • Ivia

    Very helpful Wendy! I like the idea of making a list of what you want to be/do/create, so how can you learn from your feelings. Thanks for the perspective!

    • Wendy Collier

      Happy to hear it was helpful Ivia! xoxo

  • Virginia Reeves

    What do they have, who they are, and what are they creating that I could also do? Like this look at jealousy Wendy. Use it as a mirror to reflect back to you what you can work towards. We are generally more capable and imaginative that we give ourselves credit for.

    • Wendy Collier

      Yes, we are Virginia! Thrilled to hear this was helpful. Much love!

  • Sue

    Thank you Wendy, this is so liberating and inspiring! I have never before been able to see how to turn jealousy into something constructive. So grateful.

    • Wendy Collier

      Happy to hear it was helpful Sue! “Liberating” is the perfect word for how it feels to transform such an icky feeling into something tremendously positive. Much love!

  • Laurie

    LOVE this post Wendy!!! LOVE! Thank you so much for this wisdom!!!

    • Wendy Collier

      You got it Laurie, happy it inspired you! Much love!

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