Private turning points to freedom
I wanted to share something very private with you. This weekend, I accidentally stumbled on a journal entry I wrote on April 22, 2002 – 12 years ago. It feels divinely timed I discovered this while launching this years Ticket To Freedom Summit. I haven’t seen or read this since it was written. I didn’t even recall it existed.
How wild and wonderful it is to see how much my life has changed since then, and I want the same for you, whether you are in a corporate job that drains the life out of you, or have a business that feels very much the same.
Can you relate to how this feels?
My private journal entry (unedited) from April 22, 2002:
“It is 5:30pm on a Monday evening. I sit at my desk in my beautiful glass office at Adobe Systems in San Jose – having just concluded a typical Monday. I woke early after a restless, anxious nights sleep. I got ready, put on my corporate attire, and headed into commute traffic. I presented to a group first thing in the morning, had lunch with two dear friends, and attended several meetings. Between meetings, I frantically worked through my pile of action items with more accumulating throughout the day. My head ached from fatigue. As the day ends, I find I could easily work into the evening on the many things I must do within the next 24 hours. Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines. Numbers, numbers, numbers.
I write this so when I am no longer here, I will be reminded of what once was and how I felt so I never regret leaving this life and know with certainty leaving was the best decision I ever made. I never want to forget or romanticize this from a distance. “This” is not all it’s cracked up to be. “This” is a trap that gets more difficult to untangle from the longer one is in it.
All in all, it was a “good” day. I accomplished much, and feel good about the contributions I made in each meeting, and even with my friends. Still, I feel older than my years. I feel unattractive in the most important ways. I feel corporate, and stuffy… not myself at all. I feel as though I will choose to be single forever because I choose to invest in my career more than truly nurturing love with my man. At this moment, I do not feel like the type of woman a man I truly want, would want. I feel too left brained, too masculine, too business-like. I do not like that side of me. It isn’t me. It is someone who has been shaped into being. I do not like this. I will leave with a briefcase, go to the company gym, and then home to watch The Bachelor with my roommate. This is not the life I dreamed of. This is so very far from who God designed me to be, and not at all what I was created to do. I am certain of this in this moment, despite the fact it was a “good” day. I must remember this when I am no longer here, and I will one day, no longer be here.
I feel lonely… corporate, single career woman lonely… despite my relationship. I know in my heart, this is wrong for me… this life that isolates people at the deepest level. Despite the fact I can do it, it is good in some ways, the people are amazing, and the company is incredible. Something still feels terribly wrong… out of sync. I yearn for freedom from this. My heart, my spirit, screams for it… demanding true love, and intimacy in every area of my life. This is my deepest desire.
I must never forget how I feel in this moment, and the magnitude of how God is speaking to me right now. Please, let me never forget. The grieving begins of this life I have known for the last ten years. The “comfort” I have found even in my suffering must be let go so I can finally embrace the life I am truly meant to live and the woman I am meant to become.”
As it turns out, I didn’t need my journal to remind me. It has always remained vividly in my memory. This entry marked the day I embarked on the journey to find my freedom and two years later, I did.
Please join me, and 22+ other experts who have found theirs too. We want to take your hand and help you find your freedom. It is completely possible. We are living proof, and no… we are not any smarter than you ;).
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Also, to make it super easy for you, the interviews are recorded (no need to listen at specific times) and you will have a full seven days to enjoy, after they are released.
I cannot wait to see you find the freedom and joy your heart desires!
What is your story? Tell me below. I always love to hear from you!
Love & Light,
SoulFUEL™ Business Coach
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