My Greatest Lessons From 2019
I'll just admit upfront, one of these is a little embarrassing. That won’t stop me though because I know someone, somewhere, will relate to this so let's get to it!
I don’t know about you, but I am VERY excited the year has turned. It wasn't the easiest one I’ve ever had, and I know that was the case for a lot of us.
So I will share a few of my nuggets and you can take whatever strikes your fancy, okay?
The first lesson...
The past is happy to tag along with you.
In fact, one could say it is much easier to live in the past because after all it isn't anything you do something about (#noeffortrequired) but you have to let it go my friends, or it will cling to you like cat hair. Ick.
It is up to us to say ‘no more’ – to cut the cord, to stop the ruminating, end communication with a person if we need to... set a boundary. No one else can do these things for us.
I realized this last year that I needed to do this in a few areas of my life. I became very aware that even when we have moved on from things physically, we can still continue to be in relationship with people, places or things, energetically.
Once we notice the bonds we are keeping up in our heads, we can break them when we need to. Otherwise, they can become weights that can hold you back from stepping into a much brighter, better future.
So yes, I had to release a lot in 2019 - family stuff, past relationships, past experiences. It was not only necessary to move forward but allowed me to go into a new year much lighter on my feet and certainly, lighter in my heart.
One way I went about this was I got serious about doing regular chord cuttings. If you haven’t heard of this, it’s a way to release energy chords or bonds through mediation and energy healing practices.
Some people may think that’s a bit too ‘woo’ for them ;) and that’s cool. I once thought that too but I figured even if it’s just the placebo affect that made it work, that’s fine by me! It’s about the results we get right?
I must say, WOW did I see results – things like; feeling immediately better, clearer, freer and no longer having recurring thoughts about the past.
We are 100% at choice as to whether we allow the past, to live in our present.
I found chord cutting to be an amazing practice to help release the past. You can search online for chord cutting meditations on www.duckduckgo.com (favorite search engine). You’ll find many for free or if you already have a meditation teacher you like, they may have one you can do.
The other way I practiced letting go was by making my hikes and showers more intentional. I know that sounds funny. I’ll explain! When I was feeling weighed down by something, on my hike that day I would imagine those heavy feelings being blown off and away from me, by the air. Ahhh, Mother Nature.
These might have been feelings of sadness or anger or disappointment. I would imagine all of it being taken away by the wind and transformed into something beautiful like hope, love or inspiration.
You can also do this in the shower by imagining all your negative feelings wash off of you, and down the drain. Sometimes we need a good cry or a good rage before we are ready to release, and that's part of it too.
If you’re a skeptic, try it anyway ;). The proof is in how you feel after! Even it’s the placebo effect, you still feel better and that’s the point, right?
The reason this is SO important especially as we start a new year is because energy, just like physical objects, takes up room and...
In order to make room for the new, we need to clear out the old.
This is why Clearing Space is one of the very first practices I teach my clients to do and until they do this (and consistently), they feel stuck and uninspired.
Energy gets stuck and it needs to be moved whether it’s physical objects, mental blocks, financial clutter or emotional baggage. We need to move the energy and transmute it into something much more beneficial.
Speaking of this exercise, it is one of 7 powerful steps in my Free SoulFUEL® Spark Challenge! If you want join us for the next one, just go to: https://wendycollier.com/sparkchallenge/ and you'll be notified.
During this very popular free challenge, you reIGNITE your Spark, reCLAIM your spirit and remember who YOU are so you can set yourself FREE to make money, doing what you LOVE. Sound good, yes? Join us for the next one!
Okay, the second greatest lesson I learned in 2019 is just how important, actually no – just how vital it is to make our decisions using one very simple principle and that is...
Be excited and afraid.
Now one might say – what? You are actually promoting fear as a good thing? In this case, yes! Everything outside our comfort zone has some degree of fear or worry that comes with it. That discomfort signals an opportunity to experience something we’ve never experienced before and that’s a GOOD thing, if we want to see change in our lives.
It's pretty consistent, when we are not feeling both of these emotions simultaneously, we are playing it safe and that means (basically), we aren't growing.
As much as I know this principle, I made one major decision this last year that did NOT have both of those at play and as it turned out, that was not the best decision. I was incredibly excited about it at the time but in hindsight, I was not afraid.
When I decided to make a pretty significant move I forgot, literally forgot, to apply this “rule” I have about decisions so off I went and it was in fact, a really tough time. Of course, there were great things that happened but in the end, I’m not going to lie, it was kind of brutal. 10 months later I reversed my decision and moved back to the area I was in before and THAT decision, had both fear and excitement in it. Bingo!
The third greatest lesson I learned in 2019 is not to look at others and assume their lives are better than yours just because they look great online. In other words...
Release the comparison trap and stay in your own lane.
I am a little embarrassed to share this one because as much as I talk about breaking free from comparison, I can still slip in it from time to time. It’s a LOT better but hey, it happens. I am after all, human :). Here’s what went down this last year...
I got a LOT of behind the scenes peeks into numerous businesses and people that look amazing online but are quite different behind the scenes.
Please understand, this is not a criticism or judgement because I truly feel we are all in this life together and of course none of our lives on social media are the full picture of what we have going on. Most of us aren’t going to show our bad days. I don’t - but what I want to highlight is, the tendency for us to look at what may appear to be successful businesses or happy marriages and envy that when we really don’t know what that person’s life is like. Let's hope it's as good as it looks (!) but let's face it, sometimes it isn't.
Most of us are setting goals to be happy right? Whatever we are choosing to do, we think it will bring us some measure of happiness so to me that means, the ends do not justify the means. Meaning, if I’m not happy in the doing of the thing I think will bring me happiness then it is not worth doing, because it’s missing the entire point.
That does not mean I’m not willing to make short term sacrifices for long term success – not at all, but we all get to choose how painful those short-term sacrifices are or how long, short term really is.
In one specific case I learned that someone I admired and was maybe even a little jealous of, was actually quite unhappy. It broke my heart because she is the sweetest human ever.
We experience a lot more freedom when we stop comparisons and judgements based on externals. It certainly isn't fair to compare your reality to someone else’s highlight reel either.
We need to remember that we are all human - flawed, imperfect, messy. May we focus more on doing the work WE are here to do and release ourselves from the rest.
That was a big one for me in 2019.
There is more (MUCH more) of course but those were three big lessons from last year. I hope you are able to grab one of those nuggets and allow it to support you.
Here’s to 2020!
What were your greatest lessons from 2019? I'd love to hear from you in the comments below!