The Tale Of My Cancelled Wedding
My $4,000 custom-made Lazaro wedding dress was hanging in the closet. It was just 8 weeks to our perfect wedding. My family had booked their flights and hotels. They were over-the-moon I had finally found The One.
We had just bought a gorgeous fairytale house in one of the most beautiful places in the world.
My fiance’ was, by most standards, a physically gorgeous man and we were both in the best shape of our lives. We had a business together and plenty of money to thrive.
It looked perfect.
On the outside.
Inside, I felt deeply unsure about this marriage, and no one knew.
One Monday morning, I woke up with my blood sugar crashing so I went to the kitchen to find a bite to eat. My fiancé was still asleep. I knew we’d have breakfast together so I looked for a snack to hold me over. I found a banana in the fruit bowl – the last one. Starving, I devoured it.
The next thing I knew the manI loved was in my face fuming – angry I ate the last banana. He forcibly shoved me many feet across the room, slammed me up against a wall and nose-to-nose yelled and screamed at me. I don’t recall exactly what he said. I was in shock and this had never happened before.
In just 8 weeks, we were to be married.
I was in love.
I had trusted this was IT and moved my entire life 400 miles away fromall my friends.
We had a business together.
We shared our new home.
My family was excited and happy for me.
And now, I was nauseous at the thought of marrying him.
I felt trapped.
When you aren’t sure who you are anymore,When you’ve bent your own will around the expectations, beliefs and desires of others and ignored your feelings and intuition long enough,You are no longer in charge of your life.The proving, pleasing and conforming, is.
There were signs – many, before this moment. There always are.And I kept it all silent.
Every time I felt something was off or was uncomfortable, I talked myself out of it.
I told myself I had ‘trust issues’ or that anyone would be nervous entering marriage or that I was a woman of my word and would never back out of a promise or that I needed to be a good Christian woman and trust and follow my man.
That last one was the biggest one of all – trusting other peoples advice and opinion more than my own.
It did not appear that way on the outside. I’ve always been very independent but I was choosing paths pre-prescribed by others and calling them my own.
I knew in my gut after just a few months together, this wasn’t a healthy relationship that would allow me to thrive or have a voice.
What I knew was True, grew dimmer and dimmer over time as I surrendered my own judgement. I thought other people knew better about the direction I should go.
I listened to everyone but myself yet no one else was living my life or relationship day in and day out, but me.
In that moment pinned up against the wall,I received complete clarity.
I could no longer deny what I felt because it had now manifested in the physical in my face, and I am so grateful it did.
It took only a few days for me to make a permanent decision to cancel the wedding and move back to where I lived before. During those few days, he pleaded. In fact, he pleaded long afterI had left. His pleas were a wonderful test, to see if I would trust myself this time.
I had moments of doubt about my decision. Self-trust is a process and I was still learning but in the end,I never looked back.
I let a lot of people down in the ending of my engagement – my family, his family, the vendors. They all got over it and certainly as the details got out, my family and friends fully supported my decision.
Yet in that one decision, I learned, really learned, how to have the courage to trust myself first. And that was worth ALL the temporary disappointments I caused (not to mention avoiding an ugly divorce and hurting our potential future children in the process).
I learned how to make decisions based on my values and intuitive knowing.
I learned that if something doesn’t feel right, there’s a good reason it doesn’t. Truth feels clear,
Illusion feels confusing.
I learned that my intuitive abilities are spot on and can be trusted over anyone else’s opinions. (So can yours.)
I learned that I DO fundamentally, know what is best for me.
This turning point also caused a massive shift in my career choices because of course, everything is connected and I needed to trust myself there too.
Up against that wall, I found a freedom that had eluded me for decades.
I also knew once I fully and with integrity, embodied what I knew at the time, my Calling would be to help women trust themselves so they could set themselves free of confinements too.
That moment, 16 years ago now, illuminated my SoulFUEL®.
And that has been the basis of my business – to help women like you, discover your SoulFUEL® and shape that brilliantly into your life’s work so you can be truly FREE emotionally, professionally, creatively, physically, financially, mentally and spiritually.
I am here to remind you of your power to choose,Of your capacity to create whatever is in your heart, Of your ability to learn the skills to be a wild success in your business.
I am here to remind you that whatever story you have made up about how you can’t do this or that, is just a story – one you can rewrite today – whether that’s about a relationship, a job or a business – no matter how long you have invested in it.
I am here to remind you of your power to create a life you LOVE and a business that is overflowing with abundance and impact.
If you are feeling the pull to alter your course, clarify your Calling or deepen your business journey, join us for the FREE SoulFUEL® SPARK 7-Day Challenge where I will help you reIGNITE your Spark, reCLAIM your Spirit and remember who you are so you can succeed doing what you are meant to do and profit from your passion, without sacrificing who you are, or what is most important to you.
I will teach you LIVE (or self-paced) 7 steps to tune into and discover (or rediscover), what is most important to you so you can get clear, determined, and FIRED UP (or more fired up) about your business, side gig and LIFE.
I’ve discovered there are only 7 simple (but essential) things you need to do to get tuned IN and tapped so you can feel CLEAR and CONFIDENT about who you are and what you want… and it only takes one week!
I will also help you clear any blocks that may be holding you back. (In fact, we have a Bonus Pre-Challenge Activation Day, to help you with just that.)
I will also pass on some marketing and mindset hacks so you can save lots of time and money and more easily do your wonderful work in the world.
This Free Challenge will jump-start or revitalize your business and YOU.
Every day for 7 days you will receive an email with a lesson and a fun, easy assignment along with Live coaching sessions (with replays), to help you move forward without hesitation. You can also do this at-your-own-pace.
If you are feeling stuck, indifferent or confused about your work or business or feel you may have been deferring to other peoples opinions a bit too much, this is for you sister.
If you’d like to reconnect to your spark,Tap more into your Intuition,Get an infusion of good vibes,And make this THE year you claim your Calling so you can create the freedom and the impact you want through your work in the world.
Let’s make this your year of transformation. It‘s never too late. > Join us here. ($300 training, yours for free.)
See you on the other side!
Love & Light,Wendy ♥P.S. Want to know what happened to that $4,000 Lazaro wedding dress? I sold it on eBay brand new, for only $800. You just can’t put a price on freedom.