When I was 16 years old, I was no longer living with my Mom or Dad and supported myself. I had already been working various part-time jobs (as early as 13 or 14 actually) and continued doing so throughout high school. I was fortunate to be offered temporary places to stay during my junior and senior years and by age 17; I was renting a shared room. As you can imagine, I became highly skilled at the art of resourcefulness, out of necessity.
I had to figure out a lot on my own and part of that “figuring out” was determining where and when I needed to bring in outside help. As it turned out, I needed a lot of it ;). I constantly sought out the expertise of others. Unlike most teenagers, I understood from a very early age that I did not have all the answers. If I didn’t have the life I wanted and someone else did, in whatever area that might have been – relationships, money, grades, career – I knew I needed to learn from those role models to get where I wanted to go.
It always worked… and still does.
Under extraordinarily difficult circumstances, I paid my entire way through college. I worked my hinny off (nothing but a blur for many years), took out student loans (couldn’t have done it without), waitressed up the wazoo (“Coffee or tea?”), and graduated with a degree in Psychology and Communications (♥). Oh, and studied abroad at Cambridge in the United Kingdom for one of the best seasons of my life.
I overcame incredible odds, battled what I needed to within, created my future through sheer will and determination, and learned how to think differently.
Whenever I was faced with a fear or a difficulty and began spinning in confusion, I always asked myself this (and still do):
What is it costing me not to do this?
What is it costing me to spin in cycles that are getting me nowhere?
What is it costing me not to know how to get where I want to go?
Then, in my mind, and sometimes my journal – I would list what it was costing me not to take a certain action, or learn a particular thing. For example, I had a dysfunctional relationship with money. We knew each other but not intimately. I viewed money as a difficult brother I had constant conflict with and didn’t feel very safe around. I tried to avoid him but he just wouldn’t go away, gosh darn it! On top of that, the more I ignored him, the more difficult he became and the more distant the solution felt. Can you relate?
One day, I sought out a Coach to help with my finances. (This was before the coaching industry even existed. She was ahead of her time.) I was in my early 20’s, sinking in debt and did not see a way out – really ever. Not many people would hire a Coach when they are drowning in debt and barely making it but here’s the thing, I asked myself that question again:
“What is it costing me to not know how to manage my finances?”
There is a concrete financial impact to not knowing how to improve ones relationship with money, and it is always in the negative. In other words, had I not been willing to invest, I would never have learned how to get myself out of debt far faster than I would have otherwise. That coach saved me thousands and thousands of dollars in credit card interest – not to mention the relief I felt in having everything under control. That relief and newfound sense of competency also gave me confidence which enabled me to make more money. Interesting how this works, right?!
Was she worth her fee? OMG, yes. I am so glad I never listened to well-meaning folks who didn’t think I should spend that money at the time. They felt I could find the answers by buying a book. The thing is, I had already tried that (Suze Orman and I were tight as author/reader) but I just wasn’t applying the information until I had someone to walk through the process with me personally.
Most importantly, that Coach taught me how to think differently about money, to stare it straight in the face and view it in a much healthier light. She helped to change my mindset, and that has paid off again and again ever since. (By the way, I teach money mindset success principles as part of SoulFUEL™ Systems For 6-Figure Success program.)
So, what can you learn from this? When faced with a decision, what should you consider, considering ;)?
1) In order to change your life, you must change how you think. To change how you think, you must learn from those who think or live differently than you do. (If I’m one of those – you can talk to me without any pressure – just start here.)
2) Ask yourself: What is it costing you to not take action? The cost could be a direct financial hit or it could be in peace of mind, well-being, health, etc. What is that worth to you? What is it costing to live in confusion? What is it costing to not know what your best next step is? What is it costing to ignore your heart? What is it costing you to remain unhappy and unfulfilled? What is it costing you?
Because, it is.
3) Take ownership for your life, beloved. There is a small part of all of us that thinks someone will come in and save the day. That someone is YOU. You are the hero. You can make the difference you are seeking but you must do things differently than you have been. You must step outside your comfort zone to change your life but oh… when you do – that’s when it gets really interesting and so much fun!
4) Trust yourself to make the best decisions for your life. Trust your gut. While it is very important to seek out help to train your mind, learn new skills, and develop new habits, no one can ever tell you what to do with your life, but you. Good mentors and coaches raise the mirror and show you how to listen to and act upon your truth about the direction you’re being called toward. Then, they teach the skills to get you there. The trick is learning to trust the messages you receive, acting upon those and allowing the magic to unfold – without resistance.
In my programs, I use the “Feel-Believe-Trust” model I created. That is because I have learned we must feel our way, believe we can do it, and trust our inner guide. We feel from our heart, believe with our mind, and trust from our soul. The three work beautifully together to take us home. That means, you already have so much of what you need to pursue your dreams. How cool is that?!
I hope this article has served you today. If so, please share the love with your friends. I also LOVE to hear from you so don’t forget to leave a quick comment or question below.
Oh, and before you go – if you are in a corporate or institutional job and want a smart escape plan to start a freedom-based business, or are struggling in the first 0-5 years of your business – take advantage of my free, zero-pressure SoulFUEL™ Business Brainstorm. Just fill out this super short form and tell me a little about your situation and we’ll get you on the calendar.
My programs aren’t designed for everyone but if you are a match (and I for you) then you definitely don’t want to miss out. It is your ticket to freedom. (By the way, the group closes at midnight (PST) Sunday, February 9th.)
Have a gorgeous week, Beautiful!
Love & Light,
SoulFUEL™ Business Coach & Your Personal Freedom Guide